


Don't Be Mad (Once You See That He Want It)

by averzierlia



Series: All The Single Ladies [1]
Category: Captain America (2011), The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Gen, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-01
Updated: 2011-12-01
Packaged: 2017-10-26 18:05:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/286322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/averzierlia/pseuds/averzierlia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky actually owes Loki a very nice thank you gift - if he hadn't lent Bucky those ridiculous romance novels, Bucky might have let the situation go indefinitely.</p><p>(Or: How Bucky, Steve, and Tony live in a romance novel)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Be Mad (Once You See That He Want It)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lazulisong](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lazulisong/gifts).



“I feel like I’m in a romance novel,” Bucky says thoughtfully, which causes Steve to gape at him and Tony to choke on his scotch.

“Are you the damsel?” Tony asks, because he has his priorities straight. Then, “Where did you even get romance novels?”

“Loki gave them to me,” Bucky tells him, to fuck with him and also because it’s the truth. “That time he kidnapped me to try and get Steve.”

“Haven’t we talked to you about taking things from strangers? Did he offer you a puppy too? Stranger _danger_ Bucky-“ Tony starts, and Bucky grins because yes, he is totally in a romance novel.

“You’re the wilting damsel actually,” Bucky says, because winding Tony up is his new favorite pastime. He’s even more fun than Steve.

“Bucky,” Steve hisses, but he continues anyway.

“Steve is the dashing hero, which is, ya know, believable. And I’m the long suffering best friend who just wants the two of you to stop filling the room with sexual tension because there are really only so many times I can jack off in a day.”

There is a judge-y silence.

“I’m just saying,” Bucky concludes, taking a drink of his beer.

Steve is mortified and blushing and Tony is…well Tony can’t seem to decide between leering and looking thoughtful.

“Are you trying to tell us you want the two of us to embark on what will be an admittedly epic romance or that you want all of us to get it on?” Tony finally asks, after finishing his current scotch and drinking half another.

“I don’t even care at this point,” Bucky tells them both, because Steve has finally stopped trying to bury his face in his hands and is actually paying attention to the conversation. “I was gonna fuck you in exchange for this pretty new arm, cuz I knew you wouldn’t take it the wrong way, then I noticed Steve pining, and then I noticed _you_ pining, and I backed off because I thought one of you would fucking _do something_. But apparently you’re both blind, which doesn’t actually surprise me that much. I just really want to be able to get through my day without having to duck into the bathroom to jack off every time I spend more than five minutes in the same room as the two of you.”

Steve looks helplessly between him and Tony, like he can’t decide which part of this issue he needs to deal with first. Bucky sees Steve take a fortifying breath before turning to face him.

“Bucky,” Steve says, because of course he would take this to mean it’s about feelings. Which, ya, Bucky is fucking in love with Steve, ok? He wears that shit on his sleeve, and the only person who doesn’t know about it is Steve himself. But Steve has never been interested, even when Bucky offered, and this isn’t about him being jealous or wanting Steve settled down so he knows that he can’t touch. He just wants Steve to be happy. If he has to take one for the team for that to happen he’s more than willing.

“In the interests of fairness,” Tony says, drawing Steve’s attention away from Bucky, and Bucky doesn’t know whether he wants to thank him or hit him, “Bucky is in love with you too.”

The fucker.

“I distinctly recall overhearing a conversation that went ‘Hey isn’t Barnes in love with Rogers’ ‘Ya we don’t talk about it’,” Bucky says.

“You weren’t there, I checked!” Tony protests, and Bucky rolls his eyes.

“I wouldn’t be a very good sniper if I wasn’t sneaky, would I?”

“Bucky,” Steve says again, and he sounds…wrecked. Shit.

“You already knew I was in love with you,” Bucky tries, flicking a glance at Steve’s expression, and shit.

“No,” Steve says, shaking his head, “No, I didn’t know, if I had-“

“Steve,” Bucky says forcefully, “You knew.”

Which shuts Steve up.

“I thought you were-“ Steve starts, and Bucky sighs.

“I know you did.” Bucky had told Steve he loved him when they were both sixteen, and Steve hadn’t believed him. Bucky had let it go, as much as he was able.

“We’re off topic,” Bucky says, avoiding Steve’s eyes, “Can we talk about how the two of you need to fuck again?”

“Well we’re both in love with Steve, why don’t we share him?” Tony asks, because he may be a fucker but he’s got Bucky’s back – Steve squawks in indignation at the assumption that he’s something to be shared, giving Bucky space to breath.

“We’re both in love with Steve, I don’t mind you and you don’t mind me, why don’t we all share each other?” Bucky counters, because he’d go so far to say that not minding Tony is a mild way to describe how he feels. Tony is hot and smart and he likes sex as much as Bucky does – if there hadn’t been Steve, Bucky would have been on Tony like it was his job.

“And no, Steve, you don’t get a say in this,” Tony says, turning to him. “I mean, if you don’t love Bucky I’m sure we can work out something other than fucking, but he’s been in love with you for a fucking long time and he’s a national hero and I would hate myself if I stole you.”

“Romance novel,” Bucky sing songs, because this shit is practically lifted from the pages of that one Loki gave him about the dragon boys.

“Shut up,” Steve says fondly, and Tony grins at them both, easy. Bucky grins back because hey, he’s the last one to look a gift horse in the mouth.


End file.
